The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
