Non-Jews are for practice
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
