He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
