Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
