She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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