saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
