Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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