I want to walk on stilts...naked
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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