Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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