her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
