My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Randomize
