Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
