I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
