I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
