Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
