You're completely useless in the revolution.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
