I CAN MOONWALK!
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
