Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
