I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
