they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
