direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
