every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
