I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
