i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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