i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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