Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
