id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
