It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
