He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
