it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
