Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
