The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
