Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
