You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Can i not drive my cunt home
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
she looked like the before picture.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
