I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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