If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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