Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I think my moral compass just broke
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
