If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
They are going to name an STD after you.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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