I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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