I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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