oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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