dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
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