You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
