Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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