I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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