thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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