check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
he shaved USA in his pubs
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
