As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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