I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
