She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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