What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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