we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
