Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
