Your tits are I can't wait for
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
